Judas Iscariot at Beachy Head [edit 1]

[EileenGreay]

Bill, thank you for your feedback. I considered your thoughts on the lines "Your final lines / of white and red, /set in the chalk", but I'm afraid that I just don't find these lines problematic. Perhaps something to do with my belief that the blank white space which makes up so much of the space of poetry is as much a part of the poetic text as the words themselves? Can you see that there is such a difference between mere chalk and the chalk which gains its meaning, its beauty, its overwhelming whiteness from the splatter of blood imposed upon it? To me, this distinction is very important. I hope this offers some explanation as to how I view these lines. Your reading is, of course, every bit as valid as mine, but I do not think I'll be changing these lines.

You're still trying to set white into white chalk, but I guess you don't see it.

Edit 1 might be cleaner, but I don't think it necessarily reads better.

a thought or two,
Bill