Things I Sometimes Forget (2nd draft)

[billy]

This reminds me very much of a post I saw on tumblr. But anywho it's nice and catchy.

this is not feedback/mod

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no feedback as such
i'd remove the [once] at the start of each stanza, i'd also consider removing the [because that's what is was about] phrase as it reads as trite. i liked that it left me thinking of things like suicide or death, questioning why these things were forgotten. i would have liked to see it tied to something solid though

thanks for the read.

Once he wrote a story about a vanishing donut.
He called it "The Vanishing Donut", because that's what it was about.
That was the year he gave his older brother a lime for Christmas (which cost him thirty seven cents),
and told him it was to help him quit smoking (he could eat limes instead).

Once he wrote a poem about Karl Rove molesting a goat.
It was called "Karl Rove is a Goat Molester", because that's what it was about.
That was the year he read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower",
and voted for Ron Paul.
He didn't give anything to anyone for Christmas that year.

Once he wrote a novel about failure.
He called it "My Life is a Failure", because he thought that sounded like a catchy title.
That was the year he gave everything he owned to his wife and daughter for Christmas,
and he gave himself fifty sleeping pills and a bottle of Jack Daniels.