I'm not the man you met three years ago.

[ScurryFunger]

well scurry fingers, it's a shame you didnt like it and didnt want to give any real critique. i would ask you, the next time youd like to come bash my poetry, at least leave a suggestion on how it can be improved. otherwise youre wasting my time.

Do better with your capitalisation and punctuation.

Think of a couple of different things to mention about your protagonists than their eye colour.

Lose the 'bell tolling' line.

Don't presume that eveyone can read erm, spannish was it?

I liked the bony lines, but you over used them.

(that's what I was saying before, sorry for wasting your time)