Madge - version dos

[tectak]

Hot! Oil seeps out of the asphalt road; Economic word use. Oil consider it.
cars make a sticky noise as they pass by,
sounding like fat people sex on a hot night. ...but only if "fat people" is an adjective. Hmm.
At the bus stop is a woman with
overly-processed straw blond hair,
lipsticked lips like a freshly cut neon fig, ...but what is a neon fig?
and deep crevices in pasty skin. or pastry skin....yes....pastry skin
It makes me think her name must be
something like “Madge”. ...so Badge or Nadge or Padge but NOT Madge? I would rephrase this.

She has probably done a year
or two in the prison they call jail. Kind of like the distinction but would like gaol instead.I'm a Brit.
A jail without any of the
Mayberry RFD homey qualities
where the town drunk sleeps it off,
then lets himself out in the morning. ...this is good enough but it not as good as you can get ...

She's obviously on the way to work,
wearing the ubiquitous medium-dark ..bad enjambment.Not like you. In fact,the whole bloody piece is it not like you...is it you?
brown knit knee length dress that serves
as the standard uniform
for servitors in such places
as the occupational cleaning industry
and chain cafeterias where they
monotonously repeat their zombie phrases
“hep ya”, “moe tea”, and “cum’gin”. ...you are off on a hobby-horse. Punctuation trap for tectak. Piss 'orf

Through the visual heat distortion
swirling up from earth as convection oven ..put on your bifocals. This is missing some/A words.
I can see her smoking a cigarette,
and I wonder how someone like her
can afford to smoke, when a pack cost
the equivalent two hours of work.
Well, I guess you find a way
when it is a matter of life and death! Yep. Nailed it....but what?

©2013 -Erthona

I think you are just warming up again. The Muse infused with recently oxygenated blood. Private joke. I shall watch this space.
Very best,
tectak