a grave robbery.

[in-need-of-an-empire]

i like the revision, but i find that, "she finds herself" implies some sense of surprise. as one would have in a coffin. and i found that sense of surprise juxtaposed nicely with "he has dirt under his fingernails tonight' which would imply a sense of routine, monotony even. to me keeping the first line as it was originally intended makes the poem have a sort a double or even triple meaning that i found enjoyable. something along the lines of the charcter's life is her grave and it is this monotony that has robbed her, or she is truly dead and being robbed, or something even worse is happening to her. all in all keep it up. im new here too and i look forward to reading more of you work.