Weathervane

[milo]

Wow, thanks for the comprehensive critique! I will re-read and attempt to re-work the poem with your suggested edits and see what happens. I am humbled and sincerely appreciative of your digging into my poem. I see your criticisms - archaic can be strange in these times. I just absolutely LOVE Hardy and he was clearly on my mind when I wrote this.

As a note, I was using the word "haply" in an attempt to capture the movement of the speaker - stuck in a rainstorm and sort of fumbling around just to get to the barn and get out of the sudden storm. I figured "by chance" sort of fit in that regard. The meter in that line also changes (from 6 to 7, to literally "jar" the reader as the speaker does not fit in with the weather's duet). Apparently, my use of that word didn't go over the way I wanted it to...=] Oh well!

Thank you very much.

One of the big problem created with archaisms is that they weren't archaic at the time they were in use, so today it tends to read like satire, especially considering the second problem - being less familiar with archaic diction, modern writers don't use them consistently creating a bit of an awkward hodge podge.

I also love Hardy, so I can see the draw. I could certainly see how this writing was inspired by Hardy, especially his love for drawing a scene.