Weathervane

[Todd]

Hi, welcome to the site! I very much enjoyed this. You could post it in Mild at least, and not be out of place. A few brief comments below:

Weathervane

In sudden twilight tempest, snared in wind and wet,
I sought the nearest shelter phantomed by the storm —--I loved phantomed (verbing the noun), I also like how it thematically played off ghostly in the next line
Nothing but a ghostly barn,
Fraying like a snip of yarn.--This is also a nice image to give a sense of what ghostly looks like in the previous line

So unrehearsed as I in gale and rain's duet,
I haply blundered through the melody's torrential swarm
Until I reached the barn entombed
Upon the rainscape like a womb.--I loved the phrase rainscape and I liked the idea of a musical duet between wind and rain. That said, from a content perspective entombed and womb while a nice rhyme feel off. It sounds nice but in what way is a womb entombed? Also, if the barn is frayed the womb wouldn't hold together properly. Could just be my issues.

The drizzly chorus droned outside; a silhouette
Of rafters overhead bowed refrains deformed
And wrought my heart a weathervane —--two words I think not one
Oddly dry despite the rain.--I like the sounds of it all, but again I'm struggling with the "and this leads to this result". My issues are less with execution and more with how the content seems to flow and hold together.

NOTE: This is inspired by Thomas Hardy's writing style. He "invents" his own words, so I tried that here, too. I also tried using a definite rhyme scheme and meter. Thank you for reading and critiquing!

There's a lot I like here. I hope some of the commentary will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd