09-03-2013, 08:08 AM
Hi,
This doesn't feel like a complete poem. To me it reads more like the outline of a poem that has good potential of being expanded on. I don't like the choice of starting two lines with a comma, I don't see how it adds anything here. JMHO of course.
Best,
LB
This doesn't feel like a complete poem. To me it reads more like the outline of a poem that has good potential of being expanded on. I don't like the choice of starting two lines with a comma, I don't see how it adds anything here. JMHO of course.
Best,
LB