09-02-2013, 12:17 PM
This has nice music but I can't help but feel that the alliteration is a little overbearing. I read it as "Thunder deCLARES the CALM as a CROWN..." The alliteration with "wears" "world" and "welled" is a little bit better but it's still much. The rest of the alliteration is a little bit more subtle but it gets annoying again in the third sentence.
