'Neath Golden Flames

[C.M.C.]

All other taken points aside; I like it, content wise, up into the third stanza. It starts off as what appears to be a story of some bloody battle. But even then it needs work. The second stanza isn't really needed. It's a poem, not a song. After the second stanza, it goes off on some story of afterlife. Which would be okay except you never fully explain what happens. And half way through that third stanza it just sounds like your reading metal lyrics that have nothing to do with the poem. Side note: This is the section is called "Poems for Mild CRITIQUE." And that is not just a title taped on over "Put Your Half Ass'd Poems Up to Defend." The site is used as a way to better yourself as a poet. It's not where you stick poems on the fridge for everyone to see. I thought it was like that too at first too. But that get's you nowhere here.