08-31-2013, 10:23 PM
Clever poem, and nice usage of "Tinman" as metaphor for an updated Milquetoast. Generally speaking the poem works well as is, but could be tightened up in places making the reading easier. Example:
"My mom had cast a spell on him,
for her he chopped off his legs
his arms
his head
and split his torso in two."
---------------------
My mom had cast a spell on him:
for her he chopped off
his legs
his arms
his head
then split his torso in two.
Still, I have little to complain about here.
Dale
"My mom had cast a spell on him,
for her he chopped off his legs
his arms
his head
and split his torso in two."
---------------------
My mom had cast a spell on him:
for her he chopped off
his legs
his arms
his head
then split his torso in two.
Still, I have little to complain about here.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.