08-31-2013, 03:02 AM
…confusing that which inspires with inspiration
good opening. I could read some subject/object separation and/or cause/effect separation here
though the later lines suggest that this is more simply just about writing as in the image that inspires is not the same as being full of inspiration. In other words, people can't write.
you beggar your own generations
beggar has implications of panhandling for me. So I get more sense of a leach here.
I did read your comments, Dale. The "make poor" fits. But in either case, does the poem really earn this in the sense of any sort of development? It's a common concern particularly with a short poem.
I do think that this could fall into the pit of being whatever the reader doesn't like about the world.
Perhaps the narrator needs to take responsibility instead of you.
ending with a period
instead of an exclamation!
so these go on without passion...
the last 2 lines sound good, but does it offer much more?
Also, does this poem contemplate the very thing that it's complaining about? Rationality has seemed to have taken over and it has confused "that which inspires with inspiration". The ending seems too neat and tidy. Of course, this could be what the poem really wants to reveal.
Tom had the read of life in this. I think that fits well with the use of the ellipsis.
I did read your comments. The point about the muse is well-said. I wish people would trust more what they originally wrote. The muse is right, though usually difficult to understand.
a few thoughts,
Bill
good opening. I could read some subject/object separation and/or cause/effect separation here
though the later lines suggest that this is more simply just about writing as in the image that inspires is not the same as being full of inspiration. In other words, people can't write.
you beggar your own generations
beggar has implications of panhandling for me. So I get more sense of a leach here.
I did read your comments, Dale. The "make poor" fits. But in either case, does the poem really earn this in the sense of any sort of development? It's a common concern particularly with a short poem.
I do think that this could fall into the pit of being whatever the reader doesn't like about the world.
Perhaps the narrator needs to take responsibility instead of you.
ending with a period
instead of an exclamation!
so these go on without passion...
the last 2 lines sound good, but does it offer much more?
Also, does this poem contemplate the very thing that it's complaining about? Rationality has seemed to have taken over and it has confused "that which inspires with inspiration". The ending seems too neat and tidy. Of course, this could be what the poem really wants to reveal.
Tom had the read of life in this. I think that fits well with the use of the ellipsis.
I did read your comments. The point about the muse is well-said. I wish people would trust more what they originally wrote. The muse is right, though usually difficult to understand.
a few thoughts,
Bill