Hang-time (first poem ever)

[ChristopherSea]

There is prose poetry, by the way. You have some 'stanzas', so trim those long lines of extraneous words and strive for brevity. Make line breaks to guide the reader, for meter, for emphasis and for drama. The hang-time title, theme, the very sound of it, don't seem to fit the piece. I would punt it! They are similies and metaphors herein, but they seem unrelated, wide-spectrum and some cliche (mosquito on windshield), others odd (like a spider bite, you were rash & standard to high definition). So try an edit of this! Good luck with it.