The first of nine orders (Angel) edit 1

[Keith]

I move as fluid no mass or breath, I wonder if a comma after 'fluid' would make it read a little better?
Just an idea of me that feels you, Is it a typo with the capitalized J?
your thoughts, dreams and sadness
flicker like cards scattered from a deck. I like this image.

Your memories crackle as static,
peeling threads from my essence, Maybe another word than 'threads'? I felt it didn't fit in as well as it could, between words like 'peeling' and 'preserved'.
that drift preserved by a cold breeze I'm not sure why, but I stumbled a bit in this line and the next.
to scent an unknown sense with me.

It rustles through flower beds,
twists inside a sleepless night,
pushes melancholy into rooms,
bends a tea light with laughter.

I unravel as you grow strong,
your song returns to nest,
my presence now complete,
wrapped warm in a whispers whisper. I like the alliteration. Should it be "whisper's"?

Hi,
I think there's a lot to like in this poem, you have some good images, alliterations and 'almost-alliterations' that makes most of it pleasant to read out loud. I've left a few notes that you can discard or use as you want. Thanks for the read.
Best,
Louise

Many Thanks Louise, I have had a go with the edit and youtr comments have been very helpfull. Best Keith