Tin Woodman

[billy]

hi pigpen, great that you left feedback elsewhere,

my one main point is some of the excess words. are they really needed?
suggestion would be to put a line space between he said/i said and the two quoted parts.
i think by making the character submissive, (in that he'd do anything for love, his love) you captured the essence of the tin man.
really good read with a few niggles.

His heart wasn't a quick fix
every tear turned him closer to rust. strong start, what i really like about it is the tear, it could also be tear as in rent

My mom had cast a spell on him, no need for [My]
for her he chopped off his legs
his arms
his head
and split his torso in two.

He said "you're too skinny, and your face is like paper,
you look like you're dead
and I think you scare people,
because you look them in the eye and you don't smile." no need for [because]

I said "at least I still have my self,
you're like an etch-a-sketch, always shaking yourself up no need for [like]
and starting over."
But the point was lost on him, no need for 'but'
there was nothing for it to sink into. this line say a lot and makes the stanza work well

Then one day, he lost his oil can and froze for a year,
and when he was free, he threw away his job, his family, his savings no need for [and]
and went to Missouri to find a new heart.

I could have told him it was a mistake.
He should rip it out
he should have stayed frozen.
What good is a heart
when you don't know what to do with it?