"Stormfront" (a beginner's sonnet)

[ChristopherSea]

Well, as a scientist and a poet it pleases me to see the hydologic cycle in a sonnet! You are lucky to have tectak mentoring you through this. I am not checking your iams, but I will comment on your stanzas a bit. The first one is your strongest and then in runs downhill from there with each stanza (pun intended). The next stanza may need some tweaking. Although, ‘transient beast of impermanent form’ sounds cool, there is lurking redundancy therein. The third quatrain has that ‘merging, downpouring, rejoining’ triplet of sawing words! INGs always weaken their roots and sing like a saw. You can change on or two. The next list is ‘the wind, rain, and thunder’ which can probably be substituted with something more interesting. The closing couplet may be the weakest component. You need a stronger closer. Keep at it and you will have a grand first sonnet! Good luck with the workshopping.