Missing Woman

[ChristopherSea]

Can't hear your music, while driving my car,
no ballads or Mozart, just metal drone.
Fresh alpine scents are former memories;
your bears that dwelt on my dashboard are gone.

I don’t hear the rhythm of your high heels,
my majorette's march across hardwood floor.
There’s no trace of makeup on my lapels
and never your stray blonde hair on my suit.

I long for our silly wrestling matches
for dominion of the remote control;
then there’s our bedcovers great tug-of-war,
with you triumphant in your sea of sheets.

Your nylon stocking festoons have vanished,
but a mildewed shower curtain remains.
Sweet songs don't sing from the harsh sprays within
and the tile floor craves your lingerie’s touch.

I have yearned and prayed, then dreamt that I might
gaze at you shaving your legs one more time.
My mirror’s dim, the silver’s oxidized;
I shall never see you dance there again.

Today I shall bring your beloved mums
and I’ve written a new poem to read.
I hope you hear me when I speak to you
and feel the warmth of my hand on your stone.



This was a challenge from my wife to write something more emotinally charged

This is pretty good. I like the sea of sheets, and the floor longing for lingerie. Much of your diction is strange though, despite its vocabulary. Imagining what a conversation with you must be like! From the missing "I" in L1, and then the bears in L3 was on firsts read confused for a verb being used as a noun, but I suppose you meant stuffed animals (?), to the "never your" in S2, to the "I shall never" in S3, to "bring your mums", it just reads a bit strange.

A quick note on form: S1 had this sonic use of drone/gone that had me expecting you to use nearly matched sounds throughout -- or even rhymes, in the second and fourth line of each quatrain -- in the style of the great Vivian Smith. May be something worth considering.

Thank you kindly trueE and they are great observations! The strict 10-sylllable count restriction may have caused some of the rougher spots. Some of those very lines that you highlighted were trouble spots for me, so I am going to iron they out in a moment. Did it move you? Did you think she was missing or dead before the end?