Her Special Place

[tectak]

An evergreen ocean of rolling hills;
the broad expanse of England's heathered spine. You have over-responded to the crits and heather isn't an evergreen and rolling hills is a cliche and this is just not billy anymore.
Captive Sunday ramblers
with gnarly blackthorn staffs. It is too imperative and notated now. Reads like a draft. "with gnarly" may be argued as overmodified to get in the extra adjective. with/nar/lee could be removed and carr/ee/ing substituted

A string of Limestone monoliths spread no capital on limestone
across the moor, broken strands of time. If you must stick with this syntax then a semi colon after "moor". Still not best pleased, though
Tired waterfowl would alight on mercurial waters Ah, would they? Or do they, or did they? Why would? Conditional.
in a flap of webbed feet and violent wings. No. Wrongly observed. Landing is a demure affair. Take off is what you are describing. Sorry billy. Webbed feet? Not moor-hens or coots. You mean ducks?

A thousand threads of white as rippled
across a canvas of Picasso's blue.
Kestrels hovered, pressed against the wind
waited on the wing before they dove. Jesus, billy, more tenses than a recipe for instant Peking duck! That dove has got to gone...er...went.

I blame myself!
Best,
tectak

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1st edit.

Her Special Place

A purple ocean over rolling hills;
that broad expanse of England's heathered spine
it held us captive, two Saturday ramblers.
Hiker's crooks, and boots ready to stride

the granite altar. Spread throughout the moor
it was our solace, our place of worship.
We'd watch as tired waterfowl alit
on mirrored planes of silver painted ponds.

A thousand threads of white as ripples pushed
across a canvass of Picasso blue.
The Kestrels hovered hard against the wind and
waited on the wing before they dove.

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original
from the mentor thread