A fallen hero

[tectak]

Pick up my sword, bring it to me
Make me believe once more
I've lost all my faith
But I won't flee Hisonatacanyou punctuateteornotbecauseyouseemtohaveanaversiontoitwhichIfindpuzzlingintheevermoreaccomplishedworkyouareproducingyouletyourselfdown. Hm. On a whim I decided not to use spaces.

Saddle my horse
Make me rise for the last time
I can grieve no longer
I have no remorse

Dawn is a forgotten thought in my head
Let me see the sun at this end of mine So that's where the sun shines out of
I want to feel the last light's kiss
I can't see anymore what lies ahead

I've bled
and I've shed
too much blood
My soul is now partly mud Even metaphorically a little too forced. You like mud...you use mud. Your poem.
But I have no remorse
I'm prepared to die

Hi sonata,
Getting better all the time. Though this piece says not a lot, you made it say even less by forcing the pace. You really MUST punctuate to get emotion in to this.
Best,
tectak