Silence

[lukeJones]

Now waiting, sitting, bored
Questions form
Worries put down This probably just me, but what does this mean? It is not a phrase I have heard before
Everything must be fine
How could it not be?

The hours pass
Still no one comes
Sitting in my chair
Little legs swinging beneathI personally would remove little, yeah it sets up that this is a child, but I think legs swinging would hint at that anyway
Watching people run to planes,They wouldn't actually be running to the planes would they? I mean arrivals in an airport is far away from a plane
Greeting family

Did he forget?
No, that couldn't be
The blonde comes to me
With her pale tired skinNice that this is probably a stewardess, cool imagery without making it obvious.
She takes me away from the commotion
Behind the scenes

Your dad is dead, he isn't coming to get youI get that maybe it has to be this blunt but something doesn't sit right for me here

Six hours of waiting
Numb in my throatI am not feeling the wording here
Silence, no tears
Just a wave of shock
Stunned I don't speak
She talks on, I don't hear
Three days he's been dead
All alone, no one knew

Everything's a blur,
Now at the end
His casket was beautiful
Navy with silver, abalone and seagulls
Still no tears, absolute silence
Disbelief growing steady
How could he have gone?

Ten years later,
Now an adult
I travel to his desert home
He isn't there
It's true he's in that casket
Buried deep in the ground
My grandma's second lost son
A man I never knew

I love how the first stanza sets a scene, but does not exactly tell the reader what the scene is. Yeah we get that his person is waiting, but waiting for what?

In the second stanza you introduce the airport (or at least make the location obvious) and I started to think of a cliche someone waiting for a boyfriend. However, you quickly ended that with the legs swinging beneath the chair, obviously making this a child.

In stanzas four, five, and six I started reading the flow differently, quite urgently in fact. If this is just "my thing" then great, but maybe try slowing the pace down a bit. Other than that the imagery is great although in the final stanza you reveal the father and daughter did not know each other (either emotionally or actually). This was the first time that I personally understood that, I am not sure if that was your desire, but maybe you could try some subtle hints earlier in the poem.

I know I have said plenty but overall I really liked this.