08-20-2013, 11:00 PM
I love this as an avid gardener Tectak! There may be better choices for two lines for me. I would maitain the 8-count and one near rhyme with something like this:
He kicks beneath the paling crust
to where the sun has failed the earth
and flocculation turned the juice
into a suffocant for seed,
that quenched the animating fuse.
The flood has gone; to heal the land
he scarifies the earth again
and turns the rotting germ to light.
Time walks beside the new sown grain
and promises each dormant husk
another chance...
with ample rain.
... or something of this nature, see what you think. Nice work./Chris
He kicks beneath the paling crust
to where the sun has failed the earth
and flocculation turned the juice
into a suffocant for seed,
that quenched the animating fuse.
The flood has gone; to heal the land
he scarifies the earth again
and turns the rotting germ to light.
Time walks beside the new sown grain
and promises each dormant husk
another chance...
with ample rain.
... or something of this nature, see what you think. Nice work./Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris

