Lung Darts

[Keith]

A stain on my teeth: yellowish color, not sure of yellowish color what about "taints my smile" or something else
like that of a rotten banana. this sounds funny and doesn't fit somehow
Screams go unheard for many years
from my lungs: suffocating. could be drowning not suffocating
The strength of desire:
uncontrollable,
whenever I
try to quit
smoking
them.

This is quite a heavy topic and a good one, so it would be good if you could work in some strong images that show what you are saying.Best TOMH