Mother

[animasrwm]

After many reads I'm a bit confused. Too many animals and mothers from my perception

Her pride are her pride, love that. Bears and porridge seem unnecessary. Slumping into high backed chair for some reason imagery struck me, and I'm not too visual when I read, which was quite pleasant... but too many mothers. Substitute the line immediately after, perhaps, that may fulfill what you're trying to portray without bring another mother into it, an embrace, something motherly but hinted would be my preference.

Stanza 6 would be quite nice ending on "pride", "her will" seems unnecessary.

Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for the feed back .Couple of good observations so I think I will fire them in and see where it take this . Smiled when you raised the bears and porridge thing . That wasn't what i intended. Amusing. If you get a chance read over again after my edits thanks for you thoughts