Can't let go
#5
(08-13-2013, 12:56 AM)asolace Wrote:  Why is it?
I wish you can.
I wish I can.
Your repel.
My chase.
The pain.
Why do you?
Why do I?
I wish I didn't.
One more day.
Time to forget.
Can't let go.
One last chat.
Need to let go.
One last time.
Your thoughts?
Unknown.
Why?
Must let go.
Love.
The lines are too short to comment on specific ones but as a whole the idea is a good start. Try to expand on the topic you're writing about. Maybe tell the reader what happened? What the characters are like? What are you letting go of? Basically, I agree with the previous comments and I'm sorry I can't give more critique.
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Messages In This Thread
Can't let go - by asolace - 08-13-2013, 12:56 AM
RE: Can't let go - by rowens - 08-13-2013, 01:18 AM
RE: Can't let go - by R.C. KITCHENS - 08-13-2013, 01:29 AM
RE: Can't let go - by ChristopherSea - 08-13-2013, 02:09 AM
RE: Can't let go - by TheWall0912 - 08-13-2013, 08:54 PM



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