08-13-2013, 08:54 PM
(08-13-2013, 12:56 AM)asolace Wrote: Why is it?The lines are too short to comment on specific ones but as a whole the idea is a good start. Try to expand on the topic you're writing about. Maybe tell the reader what happened? What the characters are like? What are you letting go of? Basically, I agree with the previous comments and I'm sorry I can't give more critique.
I wish you can.
I wish I can.
Your repel.
My chase.
The pain.
Why do you?
Why do I?
I wish I didn't.
One more day.
Time to forget.
Can't let go.
One last chat.
Need to let go.
One last time.
Your thoughts?
Unknown.
Why?
Must let go.
Love.
