08-12-2013, 11:28 PM
Thanks all.
TOMH - I think sky better than clouds otherwise the sun and moon wouldn't be visible. Many have expressed a dislike for the last couple of lines. Me, I like it, it's open to interpretation.
Fogglethorpe - (feels like a made up word). Manfully - a very unpopular word, but it expresses what I want pretty well. What's a boy to do?
Tectak - the only time I have trouble with the metre is here -
nakedness splashes
the dignity of mallards and mute swans.
and TOMH says they are his favourite lines!
I really wouldn't know if it is poetry or not. The other day I was trying to clean my teeth with shaving foam.
TOMH - I think sky better than clouds otherwise the sun and moon wouldn't be visible. Many have expressed a dislike for the last couple of lines. Me, I like it, it's open to interpretation.
Fogglethorpe - (feels like a made up word). Manfully - a very unpopular word, but it expresses what I want pretty well. What's a boy to do?
Tectak - the only time I have trouble with the metre is here -
nakedness splashes
the dignity of mallards and mute swans.
and TOMH says they are his favourite lines!
I really wouldn't know if it is poetry or not. The other day I was trying to clean my teeth with shaving foam.
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.