08-11-2013, 02:15 AM
This is the second thing I've posted on here that no one seems to be able to understand, and I find that odd because this is a freaking poetry forum. It's about not being able to stand out in a crowd and look up transparent, it's not the same as invisible. Imagine the person in this little piece of writing as like a a bubble. It's clear but you can see it's outline. You would not be able to see it if it were far away but up close you can. Anyway, I did this thing, maybe you'll like it more and can understand it:
A blurred silhouette in the crowd,
"was he there" "I don't remember"
Alone, the lines sharpen
vision unclouds and I am someone
until I am no more
To be clear it doesn't bother me if it's disliked, I've had some harsh critique before, it just worries me that no one seems to understand this stuff. Do I need to be very literal about everything? I mean, this is poetry..
A blurred silhouette in the crowd,
"was he there" "I don't remember"
Alone, the lines sharpen
vision unclouds and I am someone
until I am no more
To be clear it doesn't bother me if it's disliked, I've had some harsh critique before, it just worries me that no one seems to understand this stuff. Do I need to be very literal about everything? I mean, this is poetry..