Llanbwchllyn Lake

[Keith]

White and yellow water-lilies framing
sky upon its surface; sun and moon I like the mirror image here could sky be clouds?
fragmented, swept off to the edges.
Above us in the heather a cluster
of wild horses flash their tails at flies nice image
in the flattening heat. A bird of prey circles, I can feel the flattening heat its a great description
swoops and arouses maternal concern
for the children below; nakedness splashes
the dignity of mallards and mute swans. fav two lines they show so much
Deep in the night the call of the screech owl, this switch ties in with the sun and moon fragmented
stars as large as her eyes.
“This is what life could be like…” she whispered,
“…without you,” I manfully ended her sentence.

I enjoyed this a great deal you give us strong images of a hot lazy day with children playing at the lakes edge and I like the twist from day to night as though its a place you've been before perhaps as lovers ?
I'm really not sure about the end lines on such a poem were you have laid out such a wonderful scene to end it with a manly quip almost dismisses the feelings invoke by the images. If this is what you intended then it works but it seemed a little cold for me. Best TOMH