More than Once upon a Hillock

[heslopian]

Apollo rode lesser azimuths,
his quadriga streaming hues,
while Luna upheld amber façade This is an incredibly wordy verse. While I don't in any way support dumbing down, could you be a touch more concise about what is literally happening here?

and we epitomized autumn,
vermillion veiled maples
with jack-o’-lantern vistas. Nice mingling of gentle ("veiled maples") and sinister ("jack-o'-lantern") here, though is "vermillion" needed?

Demeter’s scions,
we negotiated leaf veins,
pelages stained carotene. Should "carotene" and "pelages" be the other way around, seeing as pelage is fur and carotene is a pigment?

Rakish, our camouflage
in ochre sun vestments, Is "ochre" needed?
ersatz monks in turmeric robes.

Mouths flavored curry,
exchanging lamb stew breaths,
two wings of one crow Don't most, if not all, crows have two wings? With that in mind, why is this line significant?

within shared chrysalis,
imaginal discs of what could be.
No scattered flock of doubt, I'll be honest: I have no idea what you're talking about. Though sometimes a phrase or image will emerge as quite potent, a lot of this poem reads like word jumble to me. I have a vague idea that it's about ancient myth-followers doing something or other, but beyond there I'm lost. "Lamb stew breaths" is a good, strong, sensual image, but its contextual purpose baffles me. It's not a part of a narrative so much as an alluring oddity randomly floating about.

as we chortled at wild geese
that honked the obligatory echelon, Is an "echelon" something that can be "honked", not to mention obligatorily? The word as I understand it means rank or class, i.e. "the upper echelons", so it would be like writing "wild geese/that honked the obligatory captain".
migrating to southern latitudes.

I split pine for the hearth;
she gathered stygian blooms
for our Thanksgiving table. Great verse, because it's concise and uncluttered.

Sun-dialed the hour winter This making a verb of "sun-dial" amuses me
and she was repossessed,
blushing pomegranate.

I entered darkling torpor
within her obsidian boot,
until we become vernal again. Should that be "became", seeing as a past tense has previously been established.

The second half of the poem is better than the first, because it's slightly less muddled and dense. Though difficult words are fine, lumping them together so densely cripples rhythm, which your use of short lines seems to want to create. Critique is, of course, JMHO. Thank you for the read