Haiku (Wind)

[rayheinrich]

Through teeming verdure
set on a pale blue palette -
Sad, I feel the wind

IMHO: Haiku should have clean, vivid images. Too many
modifiers (adjectives, adverbs, etc.) and words/phrases
beyond a modest vocabulary tend to dilute that image
(the definition of 'modest', of course, varies depending
on your audience). (The same can be said for most
other poetry as well.)

So a good way evaluate the structure of your poem is to take
out the excess modifiers and change the 'big' words/phrases
to 'small' ones. They DO NOT have to mean exactly the same
thing and you will need to guess a bit, but as this is only a
way to look at the structure it doesn't matter that much.
The result is seldom the haiku you were aiming for.

OK, take yours above and take out the excess modifiers:
Through teeming verdure
on a blue palette -
I feel the wind

Now change the 'big' words/phrases:
Through lots of leaves
that are different colors of blue -
I feel the wind

Not bad*. Now all you have to do is change/condense
BARELY enough to get the image/meaning you were aiming
for in the first place.

Good luck with this,
Ray

*Though I do wonder about the blue leaves (forest, bushes, etc.)