Snail

[Volaticus]

Who are you? Freaking snail, Would "Who are you, freaking snail?" be better?
I said with a despicable gock.
Gock the freak on out of here,
I thought, slimely slop.

Snails move like a mop! Not sure about this comparison. I can't imagine it very well.
That leaves gooey pop, Might be my English failing me here, but what is 'gooey pop'?
sticking on my shoe's sole.
My soul, the woe of snails
is similar to the woes of my foes!

Slowly they move in a pack around me,
slipping into my every goal. 'goal' x 2 too close to each other.
It doesn't matter if it hurts, see,
making me slime is their goal. Did you mean 'slimy'?

So I will look at them nasty
gocking snails, and mock them
till they drop. Because sneaky
smiley moving creatures are not friends Why 'smiley'? When it's about nasty snails.
I want.

I think you should definitely continue writing poems meant for kids.
I felt too tired last time I commented on this, so I thought I'd now tell you some of the other thoughts I have on this poem (see above).
Best,
Louise