Broken bricks and distant singers

[ChristopherSea]

Sepulchrals, semiquavers and singers, oh my! I feel your pain in properly structuring your piece without some command of html. I don't have that knowledge and can't help you, but the site managers can. I don't feel all that qualified to critique your poem, as it is obvious to me that you are no amateur poet. An English teacher or poetry professor, eh? As a subscriber of several top journals for years, I can envision this work in one of my next issues. The flow, rhythm and rhymes work well for me and the gothic/urban theme is thick. The 3-beat pause in line 2 puzzles me, is it for meter, effect or a self-imposed censor? I will say that there is a great deal of ambivalence or vacillation herein and it may be your poetic device, using brown/blue, Troy/Carthage, hole/sphincter, funnel/sieve, Valhalla/Broom Hilda (being a wise ass in front of teacher). You may need to commit at some point. I am not a blue or brown man though, as a watercolor painter, I would swing with cerulean and sepia (I am certain those would kill your meter). I know there is music in here, but I can't hear it. I can discern a g-string from a semiquaver though, ha ha! I am most curious about the significance of broken bricks and singers. I will have to read this again to say much more. Refreshing work/Chris