Darkest Day

[Peacheep]

Sorry for your loss. Your piece has moments of color and sentiment. It is an interesting voice to take on as the bird. Those terminal rhyming couplets in your stanzas don't benefit the piece. There is some uneeded or awkward word groupings. For example, The ominous clouds brew, icy darkness looms. Use 'clouds brew icy darkness' or 'ominous clouds loom'. 'Evil cackle flashes sparks' slaps one with inelegance! Evil flashes would do. Clawing, ripping and towering is a no-go. INGs weaken their root word and create a real 'sawing' sound. Avoid them where possible. Claw, rip and tower is infinitely more effective! The Mama plea has some effectiveness, but it maybe overused herein. This poem is emotive and did move this reader.

Thank you so much for your feedback greatly appreciate it!