That Leaf
#4
(08-07-2013, 11:21 AM)alatos Wrote:  That Leaf

That leaf, which pops out of the burgundy stalk,
half in shade, beneath my porch, beside gravel walk,
and gives rest to a bug (of an unknown sort, crawling slowly), soaks in day:
playing stoic receiver of the birds’ report.

Yes, this same leaf,
with its yellowed edge,
needs no belief,
has no creed, takes no pledge.
Of course has no learning
but the sun and the rain,
yet this leaf knows my yearning:
this leaf knows no pain.

the burgandy and yellow seem a bit at odds, what about using another shade of burgundy for the second verse instead of 'yellowed' but then, it could be a burgandy stemmed plant with yellowed leaves i guess oh, how about purple and gold? I'm trying to be useful but fear that I'm failing, I liked the first verse much more than the second, the last two lines are a bit too 'much'.
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Messages In This Thread
That Leaf - by alatos - 08-07-2013, 11:21 AM
RE: That Leaf - by billy - 08-07-2013, 12:41 PM
RE: That Leaf - by makeshift - 08-08-2013, 01:58 AM
RE: That Leaf - by ScurryFunger - 08-08-2013, 02:33 AM
RE: That Leaf - by alatos - 08-08-2013, 03:18 AM
RE: That Leaf - by rowens - 08-08-2013, 03:46 AM
RE: That Leaf - by alatos - 08-08-2013, 07:01 AM
RE: That Leaf - by alatos - 11-18-2013, 11:41 AM



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