08-07-2013, 11:19 AM
I absolutely love the form of this poem. I really enjoy poems that can say a lot with minimal words. I realize that should be all poetry, but some does it exceptionally well. This poem seems short and to the point, but not in an abrasive way. Love the way the last two lines are broken. Also, the rhythm is just killer in my opinion. I feel like there is room for improvement in the actual words though. I have no real suggestions, I just feel like you could work at it a little better and really have something awesome.