08-06-2013, 12:33 PM
Thank you to each of you for the feedback. I'm busy moving and fixing a few cars my brother and sister bought so really have not got back to this one. I made some slashes to the original and went into the poem differently, dont think it works good enough in edit one, but just a switch up. taking each of you guy's advice and applying it to a third edit.
Milo, I tried to work in present tense and keep flip flopping between tense. Don't know yet how I'll fix it' planning a more in depth edit in a few weeks. the first edit might be worse than the original..
Milo, I tried to work in present tense and keep flip flopping between tense. Don't know yet how I'll fix it' planning a more in depth edit in a few weeks. the first edit might be worse than the original..
I once told this blond chick to screw in a light bulb..
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"
She got naked and asked "how do I get in it?"