Just One More Pack

[billy]

Hi kate
i think if you write a poem with brevity, it should be as brief as possible.
it paints a very scary picture of the narrator thick tar covered teeth .
you could cut more than i showed, but to do so may take the humanity and sorrow out of the poem. i'm surprised you didn't use some question marks for emphasis.

I thought that you liked it
when we kissed,
even though I smoke.

The taste of nicotine
on my tongue
sticks in your mouth too.

My teeth are covered, thick
with the tar,
never clean enough.

You never did like it.
Now I'm alone
with my cigarettes.