08-06-2013, 01:37 AM
Impossible waters
fill our sky with dreams
for fishers and for flyers
sow nightmares within timorous minds
of mountains dark and deadlywhat do mountains have to do with imposible waters?
cover oceans like sheets
or vanish in cascadesyou lost me here, what message are you trying to convey?
constant and fickle
steadfast and wavering
unfeeling, cold, impermanent structures
inspiring life immemorialagain with the structures, more about the waters!
atmospheric murals redone a million times over
always changing, always beautifulyou lost me here, the title of the poem has little to do with the actual poetry
if heaven must be, it is walking on impossible waters
drowning in delicate vapors like the breath of God I really like this line
this poem has trouble delivering the message, try and deliver that message with more about the impossible waters
fill our sky with dreams
for fishers and for flyers
sow nightmares within timorous minds
of mountains dark and deadlywhat do mountains have to do with imposible waters?
cover oceans like sheets
or vanish in cascadesyou lost me here, what message are you trying to convey?
constant and fickle
steadfast and wavering
unfeeling, cold, impermanent structures
inspiring life immemorialagain with the structures, more about the waters!
atmospheric murals redone a million times over
always changing, always beautifulyou lost me here, the title of the poem has little to do with the actual poetry
if heaven must be, it is walking on impossible waters
drowning in delicate vapors like the breath of God I really like this line
this poem has trouble delivering the message, try and deliver that message with more about the impossible waters