08-04-2013, 11:33 AM
(08-04-2013, 03:15 AM)cotidiano Wrote: I decided not to add much punctuation or capitalization, even though I normally go crazy with it. Not sure about the title. I wanted to capture as many sensory details as possible without falling into purple prose.
Nightly Ritual
ping pong of tennis balls against racquets--
a solid pop and a twangy boing back and forth
fence clashing as a shot flies outward
cicadas chattering rhythmically
coarse yellow fur of an old friend: This is very warm.
warm air enveloping skin, embracing, invigorating
hands warming as blood pumps through veins
feet skidding across rusty concrete
dark orange marks like comets across a twinkling green sky: Love this line. It sounds like you're describing a painting.
laughter. Very nice ending...Allows the reader to trail off gently.