another attempt (mild commets only)

[billy]

Salt stars thaw the dark
The sleeping moon wading by

Underground, moles stir.

i haven't heard the phrase "salt stars" before, i thinks it goes well with "thaw"

sleeping and wading don't work together too well for me.
love the "underground moles stir: though would it read better as; "moles stir underground"

not keen on the line space but that's your choice.
and for me the "sleeping" and the "wading" keep just this side of a haiku.
i'm serious when i say i wish i could do senryu or haiku as well as this. jmo