07-28-2013, 05:54 PM
Dear all,
my warm thanks for your support and patience during my first week in this forum.
I have now edited my original post and updated it with "Edit 3". May I ask you to take one more look at it to see what you think? I understand that many of you found especially the 3rd and 4th stanzas hard to follow, and I hope that this last version is more intelligible, and that the critique against (neo)colonialism has become more obvious.
I'm particularly eager to know what you think about the first line of the 3rd stanza -does it work at all or was the original one better? This is an attempt to emphasize the fact that these hard-working souls own almost nothing, not even a pen.
Once more, thank you.
my warm thanks for your support and patience during my first week in this forum.
I have now edited my original post and updated it with "Edit 3". May I ask you to take one more look at it to see what you think? I understand that many of you found especially the 3rd and 4th stanzas hard to follow, and I hope that this last version is more intelligible, and that the critique against (neo)colonialism has become more obvious.
I'm particularly eager to know what you think about the first line of the 3rd stanza -does it work at all or was the original one better? This is an attempt to emphasize the fact that these hard-working souls own almost nothing, not even a pen.
Once more, thank you.