07-24-2013, 11:21 PM
I'm not usually a fan of poems if there is no rhyme scheme, however, I have taken a liking to yours. You have good imagery and I find myself intrigued by the story behind it. I also like your lines that seem to be some kind of side thoughts (forgive me if this was not the intention you were going for) such as "made me feel terrible for not fucking you," or "by the way your music still sucks." I've always tried to have this effect with my poems (telling a story, past tense, and having emotions after the fact, present tense) and you seem to pull that off nicely here. Again, sorry if this wasn't your intention but it is just how I read it. Enjoyed the read very much, thanks!