Libertas

[billy]

I believe that in this country, many of our liberties have been blatantly violated. Not everyone has had the opportunity to realize this, because much of it is secret. I suppose one solution is to protest, but what happens when they move to detain us? Hence, my violent solution.

I have an angry soul, I suppose. What would you suggest for putting my own soul into it? I'm curious.

Thanks for the thoughts!

from my point of view and this is in reply to a question you ask;

less cliche
more originality
where is the poem about?
at present it reads more like rant through story.

the worst thing is that the poem isn't just full of cliche
it's an extended cliche about nowhere in general, it carries little image, just the narrator narrating and doing so weakly.

meter as some have said would help but it would only help with the meter
the clichés are killing anything of value the poem has

back to your own soul. for me it feel very generic and contrived. mainly because of all the filler words. if you want it to be angry, take out every single word that doesn't add to anger

thanks for the read.