07-23-2013, 03:46 PM
Hi Robbie,
An ever popular subject but sadly you do go over some old chestnuts without offering much new.
My two thoughts are this could be trimmed down a lot and although you have offered images they are a bit tired and not working very hard.
All this said I still like that what you have done.
I'll offer a couple of contractions for your consideration below in bold.
All the best AJ
Oh sorry Robbie just noticed I'm in misc section... but having done the comments for the crit thought I might as well leave them for you to look through. But apoligies if this was not what you had posted for. AJ.
An ever popular subject but sadly you do go over some old chestnuts without offering much new.
My two thoughts are this could be trimmed down a lot and although you have offered images they are a bit tired and not working very hard.
All this said I still like that what you have done.
I'll offer a couple of contractions for your consideration below in bold.
(07-23-2013, 02:38 PM)Robbie Reaper Wrote: Human BeingsHope these comments have been of some help
"What makes us human?" You already have beings in the title so no need for it on the first line
Is it the gift of love without borders? Perhaps for all of the "is it" lines you could have Is it as a stand alone line and then edit out all the other rpts.
Is it the feeling of pride that
burns like a blazing fire?
Or is it the wherewithal to know right from wrong?
The forbidden truth of our lives
will be revealed in the afterlife.
"We will see what makes us human beings."
-Robbie Reaper
All the best AJ
Oh sorry Robbie just noticed I'm in misc section... but having done the comments for the crit thought I might as well leave them for you to look through. But apoligies if this was not what you had posted for. AJ.