07-21-2013, 11:23 PM
Hi,
another interesting and solid read you have offered here.
Perhaps one small typo I think.
S1 - L3 was that meant to be we're.
I think this poem really turns on the last line. Love the illusion to the hair shirt that puts the rest of the poem into the perspective of self pity that is about to be shaken off.
Particularly liked the flower ears image. Thought this was something new and fresh. I saw this as a tightly closed flower waiting for the sun to open it and sort of sat in limbo sulking because there was no sun today.
All the best AJ.
another interesting and solid read you have offered here.
Perhaps one small typo I think.
S1 - L3 was that meant to be we're.
I think this poem really turns on the last line. Love the illusion to the hair shirt that puts the rest of the poem into the perspective of self pity that is about to be shaken off.
Particularly liked the flower ears image. Thought this was something new and fresh. I saw this as a tightly closed flower waiting for the sun to open it and sort of sat in limbo sulking because there was no sun today.
All the best AJ.