Street Sleep Walking Edit 1 milo, billy, brownlie,leanne et al.

[milo]

The stench of dark colonic wynds, city-black alleys of waste,

you have "colonic winds" do you really need "dark" or "stench"?

ensconce and shelter the vile and the fallen.

is the stench doing the ensconcing here? Then you have a verb disagreement. Otherwise you have a clarity issue. Also, the vile and the fallen? You must be able to do better than that.

They are sack-wrapped and bagged, societal garbage, asleep in a trance
of blank syringed days. Wet and decayed, with their blood-threatened bodies,
they are chilled into comas of hidden despair.

"comas of hidden despair" is both abstract and banal while also being contrived. Why "sack-wrapped AND bagged", wouldn't one or the other do the trick? "with" their blood threatened bodies suggests there is an alternative option of "without" their blood threatened bodies"?

Look quickly and side-wise into shadows, where but for the darkness
could be seen in their eyes, tears of gratitude; assaulting vistas,
threaten by closeness to you and your kind, so that distance becomes
the shield, the protection. Do not linger or look on the lost or their lives
but walk in your sleep, and sleep like the blind.

"look quickly and side-wise into" is awkward and wordy. "where but for the darkness"? Dis you really write that ,Tom? "tears of gratitude", "assaulting vistas" - ugh. "threaten by closeness to you" - wordy and awkward. Do you need the"protection" right after you mention the shield? I would think you wouldn't need "look" if you have linger. "Sleep like the blind" is interesting but it feels like it would be interesting in a different poem.

Listen! Hear lungs, through crackling congestion, broken by silence
of Death on the prowl. They live on their highway, glass-broken, tin-rattled,
cat-littered, flesh-rotted, waste-strewn and piss-sodden.
Enuresis dreams in each tossing bundle; deaf or dead, the unheeded prod.
So sleep-walk my beauties, 'til the wakening call.

Are you hearing the lungs "through" the crackling congestion or is the congestion the sound /of/ the lungs? "Death on the prowl" = lol. What is broken by silence? lungs(??!!)

all in all, much of it is wordy, contrived and over-modified.

Thanks for posting.