A Passing

[milo]

It bore a trace of fern, unfurled a smell
of loose barked silver birch and stretching oaks.
Then dallied by the poplar's narrow strokes

I would switch to "loose-barked". I don't know if "unfurled a smell" will ever work for me as it feels to contrived iykwim, but that may just be a personal preference.

and wooed a hermit thrush that trilled along
a branch; its spotted breast so proud in song.
The parted bluebells blushed within the glade
as chorused foxglove sang inside the shade,
the mottled woodland wrapped me in its spell.

what is the difference between "trilled along a branch" and "trilled on a branch" I might ask. "SO" in "so proud in song" bothers me. blushed "within" the glade suggests that outside the glade, they will stop blushing. "as" suggests time or synchronicity. It creates a strange choreography of foxgloves singing only if bluebells blush. I still like the image of chorused foxglove.

The years, like winds of old are cast away
and with them, gone the softness of the trees.
Now terracotta houses rise like sails
and sewerage pipes are threaded through the brae.
No more the wooded hills, no more the breeze.
No more summer's dell and lost, the vales.

You can't really get away with "gone the softness of the trees", it is grammatically incorrect.(no verb). "and lost the vales" just doesn't work at all. Also, I (for one) would like a tie back to the wind here. The wind was the subject of our entire octet, particularly the smell. I imagine sewerage is a reference in a sense, but I would like more, maybe a little wind in the last line.

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thanks for all the feedback this is the 1st edit

nice work on the editing so far.