Generic Relationships

[milo]

Were you there yesterday, or was it me,
standing there in the spring like a row of corn
from a memory of that autumn day
you didn't come to see me on our birthday.

For me, the tortured syntax and grammar don't work at all. I feel like I can kind of piece it together but it is a lot of unrewarding work.

standing 'there' ? Where? In the Spring? Since you can't stand in a season, I guess your narrator is standing in a creek, but I never really figure out why and it becomes irrelevant pretty quick.
"like a row of corn from a memory" is a decent image but here "like" and "memory" collaborate to make it as weak as possible.
The last line claims N's object did not come to N's birthday, but the next stanza they are there.

It was a broken ministry,
just your mother, your dad,
eternal undertaker in common Saturday,
and a host of other guests.

once again, the inattention to basic grammar makes this a chore. because you start the list with "your mother, your dad, " and then mention "the eternal undertaker" it becomes 3 people even though I don't think that is what you intend. I am also unsure how this undertaker became eternal. Maybe they are a zombie undertaker or some kind of immortal, but there is never clarification.
"host of other guests" is pretty weak.

You smiled when I walked over,
wearing your black trousers, like me,
instead of your usual black skirts
that mimic your father's profession.

Because of your inattention to grammar this reads like N is wearing ND's black trousers instead of her skirts like (he?) normally does. (He?) is wearing these black trousers, it seems, in the same way that he wears them. (?) I have no idea what her father's profession is, but I assume it is something that involves wearing black skirts which should limit the options I suppose.

Handing out samples in a grocery store;
I guess when every girl's dream is to become a succubus,
the legitimate ones have to find legitimate work too.
So was it you? Everyone thought you were my sister,

Who is handing out samples here? "I guess" is pretty weak. Why is N suddenly assuming every girl's dream is to be a succubus? How does a succubus become legitimate? "the legitimate ones have to find legitimate work too" is wordy, awkward and unpoetic. What is the importance of the line about her being confused with N's sister? This idea is never really developed. Also, the scene is hopping all over the place. Are we still in the grocery store? At the strange birthday party with the eternal undertaker and the skirt wearing dad? I don't know.

except your parents, of course; and thank goodness for that.
Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to take you home
and let you steal so much of my soul.
Something your boyfriend has never had to offer.

if it is "except your parents of course" then there is no real need to mention it, is there? "Otherwise" should be contrasting something but it isn't. Otherwise is a pretty poor choice in any poem anyway.

"Steal my soul" is a tawdry cliche. The penultimate line about ND's boyfriend seems wordy, inefficient and pointless. When did this poem become a love triangle?

The narrative is disjointed, wordy and in the end pointless. It reads more like some stoned rant than a poem.

Thanks for posting.