The Soft Cocoon

[Vistaldust]

i'm getting that your snuggled up with a book, or at least that my take on the poem, but if you using the book as a portal, isn't there something more, or does it just lead up to you telling us your reading a book. i'm not sure how to say what i mean surely the book has a lot more going on than an idyll of the sea.

it's a soothing poem though i don't get a lot from it.

thanks for the read.

The Soft Cocoon

An ocean crawling to shore, a suggestion would be to remove shore as it's too obvious
waves whispering,
are you here? if you're personifying , why not use quotation marks and have such lines out on their own line

A seagull descends,
cooing softly, is cooing associated with gulls?
do you hear me?

The sun walks the sky,
repainting, reacquainting.

The world exhales;
a page flutters frantically
in the breeze.

This I see.
This I hear.

Inside, undisturbed,
I continue to read
about a man
who loved summer.

Thanks, Billy. Yes, from what I've researched, cooing is associated with gulls. I use the reference of waves crawling to shore because it is important for the man in the poem to hear them, and it lets the reader know he is on a beach and not in a boat. I didn't put quotation marks on the ocean or the gull because it is a sense perception reference. Obviously, these are all intentions and I understand that there may be errors in how to best express them.

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Thanks for all the critiques, and I welcome more. I'm sure we've all written a poem like this before, even after learning a teeny bit about writing poetry: this is a poem that I tried to rework, and even if meter, form, and wording could all be improved, I have to say, fuck it. I wouldn't change a single thing. If an editor shitcans it immediately just from reading the first sentence, who cares. No matter where we are at in our writing, either a novice like me, or an experienced poet, I think it's healthy to have something we create that we would never change.