07-18-2013, 10:07 AM
the first line is very weak
your poem needs draw people in
i doubt this will be read
is much stronger, but the poem reads more like a note than a poem
remove anything that adds nothing. create an image instead of simply telling us about it
your poem needs draw people in
i doubt this will be read
is much stronger, but the poem reads more like a note than a poem
remove anything that adds nothing. create an image instead of simply telling us about it