07-18-2013, 12:39 AM
hi, i agree with the previous reply. in itself it has potential to be a good semi-stuctured and intriguing poem. i think that because of the constant flow of visuals you get distracted by it and it would take too much editing to become properly structured and would ruin the ideals of the poem in the progress. to be perfectly honest (and as least rude as possible) the overload of content kind of makes the mind wander and you tend to skip sections and make up the in-between yourself. however if you do re-structure into stanzas and edit it down i would be very interested to see if/how the content is affected.